What Does the Bible Say
What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things the Bible asks you to do. Not because it's complicated. Because it costs something. It means releasing someone from a debt they genuinely owe you. The Bible doesn't pretend that's easy. But it's uncompromising about its necessity. Unforgiveness doesn't punish the other person. It imprisons you.
This verse eliminates the option of 'I'll forgive when I feel ready.' Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. The feeling often follows the decision, not the other way around.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.”
Matthew 6:14-15 · BSB
Jesus said this immediately after teaching the Lord's Prayer. It's not a suggestion. It's a condition. Your forgiveness from God is connected to your forgiveness of others. Not because God is petty. Because unforgiveness clogs the pipeline through which grace flows. You can't receive what you refuse to give.
The standard for forgiving others is how God forgave you. That's an impossibly high bar if you're relying on your own willpower. It requires God's help to forgive at God's level.
“Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 · BSB
Paul sets the standard: forgive as the Lord forgave you. How did the Lord forgive you? Completely. Before you asked. While you were still guilty. At great cost to Himself. That's the model. Not partial forgiveness. Not conditional forgiveness. The same extravagant, unearned forgiveness you received.
If your prayer life feels stale, check for unforgiveness. It's one of the most common blockers. Name who you're holding a grudge against. That's where the breakthrough starts.
“And when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against another, forgive it, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your trespasses as well.”
Mark 11:25 · BSB
Jesus connects prayer and forgiveness. If you're holding something against someone, deal with it before you pray. Not because God won't hear you. Because unforgiveness blocks the connection. It's static on the line between you and God.
If you recognize bitterness in yourself, trace it to its source. Somewhere there's an unforgiven offense. Forgiving it doesn't just free the other person. It evicts the entire family of bitterness from your heart.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 · BSB
Paul lists the family of unforgiveness: bitterness, rage, anger, slander, malice. They travel together. Unforgiveness doesn't stay in its lane. It infects everything. The antidote: kindness, tenderheartedness, forgiveness. Replace the whole family, not just one member.
Forgiveness doesn't mean the pain wasn't real. It means you're choosing morning over permanent night. The weeping was valid. The joy is coming.
“Weeping may stay the night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5 · BSB
David connects the timeline of grief and forgiveness. The pain of what happened to you is real. The weeping is valid. But it's night, not forever. Morning comes. Joy arrives. Forgiveness is part of the bridge between night and morning.
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A Prayer About Forgiveness
God, this is hard. You know what they did. You saw it. And You're asking me to forgive them anyway. I don't want to. Part of me wants to hold onto this because it feels like justice. But I know that unforgiveness isn't justice. It's a prison, and I'm the one locked inside. So I choose to forgive. Not because I feel it. Because You ask it. Help me mean it more tomorrow than I do today. Release the bitterness. Evict the anger. And fill the space with Your peace. In Jesus' name, amen.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does the Bible say you have to forgive?
Yes. Matthew 6:14-15 makes it conditional: 'If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.' Colossians 3:13 instructs us to 'forgive as the Lord forgave you.' Forgiveness is not optional in Scripture.
How do you forgive someone who hurt you deeply?
Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. Start by choosing to release them from the debt, even if the emotions haven't caught up yet. Pray for them (Matthew 5:44). Ask God for help (you can't forgive at God's level with human strength alone). And recognize that forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation or trusting them again. It means releasing the bitterness so it doesn't destroy you.
Does forgiveness mean forgetting?
No. The Bible never says 'forgive and forget.' You can forgive someone and still remember what happened. Forgiveness means releasing the desire for revenge and choosing not to hold the offense against them. Boundaries can still exist. Wisdom can still operate. Forgiveness frees your heart without requiring you to become naive.
What does the Bible say about forgiveness?
Colossians 3:13 says to forgive as the Lord forgave you. Matthew 6:14-15 ties your forgiveness from God to your forgiveness of others. Ephesians 4:32 says to be kind and forgiving. The Bible presents forgiveness not as optional but as essential to your spiritual health and your relationship with God.
Do I have to forgive someone who is not sorry?
Jesus forgave from the cross before anyone asked (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness in the Bible is not contingent on the offender's repentance. It is a decision you make for your own freedom. Mark 11:25 says to forgive when you stand to pray, without waiting for an apology. Forgiveness releases you, not just them.